Image Democracy

A slightly edited version of this was published in the BJP on 16.5.07 :

Letters: Oh this new-fangled terminology!
I'm feeling somewhat inferior, and so do a few other photographer friends! We feel that perhaps we are not intelligent or intellectual enough to participate in the current and now global issue of 'image democracy', and derivatives of the word democracy, so close to the hearts of some photographers, critics and experts (Special report, BJP 02 May).
Government by people, political or social equality is what I
understand democracy to mean! I do understand that from time to time human nature craves for the invention of new-fangled terminologies to put one's views,philosophies & theories in the upper clouds &/or in the realm of the intelligent to separate oneself from the others and win a place on the panel rather than in the nodding audience. We live in an age where excess of everything has resulted in the separation and distinguishing of ability by words rather than by what we produce!
The use of mobile phones is a global phenomenon.Even Dogs own mobile phones! Is that 'communication democracy'? More people buy cars than ever, is that 'transport democracy'? Kate Moss has introduced a fashion range, is that 'Moss democracy?' Is water shortage is some parts of the world 'liquid dictatorship' and is a 39 million pixel back 'digital imperialism' or am I just insane?!

Many Thanks to BJP.

Soulmates, Lonely Hearts

Intelligent Army Officer,likes risks, WLTM Middle-Eastern Kidnapper/s for hide & seek,Poetry evenings & a 50% share of any eventual publishing rights, who knows even a movie right & interviews, Must be photogenic & preferably with a full beard, for fun & frolics. reply in confidence to 0999 999 999

2.8 million or so children, into living below the poverty line & other stories WLTM senior officials & industrialists into super casino building for just Hugs & kisses, a decent meal & a roof & who knows may be more, male or female considered
Call 0999 999 999

Desperate & Aching in the mouth female WLTM a dentist for repairs & drills, No perverts please! call 0999 999 999


Non-Judgmental Art Buyer, 50's,into arts of any sort,preferably conceptual,seeks gullible female art investor/s to part with large sums of cash, & walks in obscure galleries,waffle talk,wine,dine,schmooze and may be more,Ldn, call 0999 999 999

Unshaven but inaccurate Mathematician, 60's,into Olympic Games budgeting,Lively but unattractive, love photoshop,seeks ANYONE male or female or both with at least £9 Billion spare cash, walks in the park,F/ship & who know may be more! call 0999 999 999

Bald Headed Cigar Smoking Fat Oil company tycoon, 86, into exploration,exploitation & politics,love hollow promises, water pipes & stockings, looking for a funky slim middle eastern,African or anywhere else,government official to sign the exploration rights away for peanuts, fun & frolics,bribery & poss more. Call 0999 999 999

Supermarket Mogul Mongrel, 46,ostensibly honest & consumer caring,Loves Milk & dairy farmers,grass,travel & Cider,seeks all types of gorgeous family farmers for honest dealings,screwing,sharing love but not profit & Blackpool outings,may be pushing off the cliff,cinema,and intelligent epitaphs. Call 0999 999 999

Blank Is The New Banal, Said: David Toyne!

How right David was in my previous Blog when he said that "Banal is the new Blank" well said. I was in Amsterdam week before last & had to laugh to myself remembering what David said when I visited a Gallery enjoying some great work, but amongst which were 3 WHITE canvas's on the wall. I think they might have had something very faint on them, or may be they were finger marks of disbelievers, so random artists wanting to add something to the canvas or indeed the "ARTIST" itself. To be honest, I didn't even read the notes on the wall, but it was memorable that I had to take this picture at the risk of getting arrested in the Gallery & here is the picture below!!

So, looks like Banal "Is" the new Blank!!! I was so very lucky because just as I took this picture, I heard the voice of Sir Philleep Pumpa-Tube behind me!!! Hello Sir Philleep what you doing here I said?? buying some art son, he replied. Sir Philleep also being one of the highest universal Art authorities & a huge art Collector had just flown in from London. He just paid $22 Million for a "Soiled" Pair of cotton under garment clothing by the famous artist Nancy pussylips! the next big thing. I asked Sir Philleeps opinion about the Blank Canvas whilst I had him there. he gave me a "Don't you know your art you idiot" look and the he explained: The whiteness of the dillematic domains of the dimensional perspective in the notional integrity of the artists mind is obviously resonating in the emotional ambient of the neo draft post dada modernism in which the abstract & the moderate template of the past apocalyptic emotions are clearly illustrated! Do you now get it he asked me!??? Arf Arf Arf I said.

PS. I did try to link the word "David" by some HTML instructions, but I failed miserably. (at first!)

Why Banal is Cool!!!

Am I dreaming or is Banal cool!!! when did this happen?? has Banal Always been cool??? is Banal a concept??? If you don't "get" Banal, then you're definitely not cool!!! Do you want to be cool??? Do you want to be Banal??? I love Banal!!! I like it on toast in the morning!!! & I like to study Banal!!! Its cool to study Banal!!! I like elongated discussions about Banal!!! food for the soul!!! I went out with "Banal" in mind & this is the best I could do!!! I hope its cool. Banal is cool, cool is anti, anti is saleable,salable is money,money is bankable,bankable is spendable,spendable is cool,cool is Banal!!! Oh dear. anyhow, I hope to win a prize with this picture, then I get some money, money is bankable...............

Prison Population, Etc Etc Etc....

This morning,I was lucky enough to get a few minutes interview with the world most famous political & economy strategist, guru & adviser to the most powerful governments & global industrialists, Sir Philleep Pumpa-Tube. I caught up with him just as he was stamping out his $80 Cohiba Cigar on the tarmac before boarding his Lear Jet heading to Switzerland to collect the 2007 Noble prize for his inhumanitarian contribution and advise on how to write off Africa without the loss of any oil,mineral,precious metals & diamond extraction rights. I only have 30 seconds he said, so can you just get on with it & tell me what you'd like my opinion on?? yes yes yes I said, just want your views about several important issues that are on minds of ordinary people......Get on with it he interrupted.....Ok Ok...., the recent overcrowded prison issue,high interest rate,rise in the national debt, inflation, environmental issues,rise in the price of milk, bread & water, health care & hospital closures, massive increases in the Gas & Electricity prices,high property prices making it impossible for young people to get on the property ladder, increases in train & air travel tickets, costs of wars just to name a few & i wondered what is you view about all that Sir Phileep!???? Sir Phileep Pumpa-Tube, the most renowned & respected politician in the world pondered for a few seconds, deep in thoughts, really deep in thoughts & then he said: Son! take a picture!!! I can summarise all the answers to all your questions & concerns in one "pose" to show you all how much we really care, take a picture son, this is my message to your readers & viewers internationally:

Now get off, I'm running late!

TV Licence

I was so Gutted to hear that the TV licence went up this week!!! really upset!!! not because I objected to the rise, but because I couldn't enjoy participating in rise of yet another living expense! you see, I threw my TV away about 7 years ago & have lived without one since. So when i heard that the Fees had gone up, I wished I had "one" so I could now pay more!!! I love paying more for "every thing" on a daily basis. I often think living expenses don't go up enough fast enough, you know what I mean!? I remember a line from The Essential Groucho by Groucho Marx, something like: The Television is a great educational invention, every time someone turns it on, I go next door & read a good book!!! so, anyhow, alas I cant make a contribution to this extra expense, I'm Gutted!!! but wait a minue! may be I "CAN" make a contribution!! its not mine but its a contribution at least & I dont think he would have minded.

Its the lyrics from a Zappa album, Over-Nite Sensation, called I'm The Slime: yes may be I can make a contribution by default after all!!! Ohhhhh, I feel better now. here it is, he wrote:


I am gross and perverted
I'm obsessed 'n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little has changed
I'm the tool of the Government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you

I may be vile and pernicious
But you can't look away
I make you think I'm delicious
With the stuff that I say
I'm the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I'm the slime oozin' out
From your TV set

You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don't need you
Don't go for help . . . no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold

That's right, folks . . .
Don't touch that dial

Well, I am the slime from your video
Oozin' along on your livin' room floor
I am the slime from your video
Can't stop the slime, people, lookit me go

I am the slime from your video
Oozin' along on your livin' room floor

I am the slime from your video
Can't stop the slime, people, lookit me go
-----------------------------------------

& that sadly ends this contribution brought to you by Sir Philleep Pumpa-Tube & more of him later!

Present Day Street Photographer

I was reading an interview with Frank Zappa in an old copy of MOJO magazine & it ended with a quote from Edgard Varese who was one of Zappa's favorite composers & it was..."The present day composer refuses to die......" not quite wanting to get into Zappa's own story at this time, but having read this quote several times in the past, it dawned on me that it can also be true & apply to many other talents etc etc......so, here it is: in memory of the BEST, The present day street photographer refuses to die...!

Apology to all the assholes

I feel a bit better for my realization yesterday! more bad news today but I now know who's running the show. I wont details all the bad news I have heard today, nor will I name all those "you know what" kind of people who believe everyone is a fool. Suffice to say that having consulted the experts in my dreams last night, i have to now apologize to the Assholes in the world. Yesterday I said that the world is dominated by assholes, well....sorry about that folks. I now know that the world & world news is dominated by Maniacs!! relief! the difference is that an Asshole is just an Asshole & not a maniac, but a Maniac can be an Asshole too, "simultaneously". Some of you clever people knew this right!? don't have a picture for this one, so the previous one prevails! see below

World Domination with Street Photography!

This morning, on my way to work, I was violently sick behind the wheel. No, It wasn't food poisoning from last night! it wasn't alcohol poisoning either.Nothing as normal as that. I was just listening to the news on the radio in my car. I remembered Frank Zappa's song: More Trouble Every Day. What can i "DO" about it I thought! There are people who devote their entire life to it ( & some get Rich along the way!!!) I then remembered again another line from Frank Zappa: "the only other thing more plentiful in the universe than Hydrogen, is Stupidity". So, here is what i think: The world is 99% populated by nice people but dominated by Assholes!! a true ZEN saying. Just the realization of that is enlightening isn't it!?
So, here below is a befitting picture totally dedicated to the dominants! my Xmas card, Merry Xmas to them, & have a nice day. PS. This is NOT my work of Art. I saw this in a shop window in Stockholm. the shop was closed so i couldnt find out who's it was etc etc. i just took the picture. so, who ever is the creator of this art, deserves the credit, so here is to you kid!

Competition Time: Name That Pensioner!!!

Name that pensioner is our competition for this month. This months competition is very simple! All you have to do is name the pensioner in the picture above to win the prize of your lifetime. Its really really easy if you look close enough!! But, to get you going here are a couple of clues!:

Quote:
"Observer Newspaper Sunday 07.05.06 Page 2.
The Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott, is in line for a gold-plated pension package worth £1.5m if he stays in his cabinet post until 2010, the Observer can reveal.

Observer Newspaper Sunday 07.05.06 Page 10.
TECHNOLOGY: Faces with national pension crisis, a growing band of over-50's are taking crash courses in technology and using the internet to boost their income by up to £1,000 a year."
Unquote.

We have really given the answer away by the above clues but still, now all you have to do is name the pensioner in the above image, is it:
A- Mr Prescott or
B- Mr Average
If you have access to Technology you can text or indeed email your answers to:
i'mobviouslyafool@ whodoyouthinkyouarekidding.non.global or text to 69plus2, each text or email will not cost more than £400 a shot & please ask permission before using technology so that we can trace you afterwards.
If you do not have access to TECHNOLOGY please post your replies to:
P O BOX Please charge me later, Universe XYZ1 1ZYX enclosing a cheque for £600 as it costs more to open an envelope than to read an email.
Entry deadline is 6 years after your retirement age. Depending on the age of the lucky winner, he or she or it, will receive:
A- If over retirement age: The grand total of £1.50 investment into the 5th generation pension plan or
B- If under the retirement age: A promisary note that upon receiving all the winner's monthly disposabe income indefinitely for investment in our imaginary guaranteed pension plan that we will especially design for them, he or she or it will receive a guaranteed imaginary monthy pension of £2.50 for a whole month. ( subject to terms of attrition )

Now, isn't that a prize woth fighting for. Good luck & we look forward to cashing in on your dreams.
PS. Alas, telephone entries are not accepted as we could neither find a team of telephone operators in Asia nor a FREE phone number expensive enough for you to call. Ooopps Sorry!

INFLATION. A Study into the history of the word.

The property Tax AKA Council Tax in this part of the world will be going up by "as little as" ONLY twice the rate of inflation which I gather is 1.9%. In fact I "only" know of 2.5 other things that go up by the rate of inflation & one of them is THE RATE OF INFLATION! I was interested to know where the word INFLATION came from so I looked it up & found a PHD paper on the History of INFLATION but Richard Pumpaloaf who was revered by the late Frank Zappa.
I gather from this 966.2 page paper that the word Inflation has evolved over the last 1623.5 years with both Latin, Folklore & other interesting intentionally financial origins. But to cut a long story very short the word Inflation is a pronunciation evolution & simplification of 3 (some challenge this to be 4 or 5) different words. First,"IN" referring to page 322 was the first part indicating & expressing a desire to. Second,"Fellatio" expressing the feelings of joyful moments of sharing habits & interests & finally "Nation" referring to large groups of people living in semi-large settlemets.
The relics of the original text books reads: "......& then cometh time riseth to harvest anath teth deterioth layeth IN Fellatio with Nation, seath riseth non careth taketh leaveth.....etc etc" which was basically in plain English " he who is into the desire to share joyful moments with everyone else" hence INFLATION. Rather an interesting paper & highly recommended. Time to FLUSH!!

Disclaimer; The above is not the view of the writer & any views expressed is only the view of the expressee who is not the writer but the expression of the written view of the written version of the viewer's written words which is not in any shape underwritten or written but the second viewer & the reader of the first paragraph which was expressed with the sole intention of the intendee to intend the viewers written expressions at the first place. Thank you.

Global Population

Global Population Portrait!!! Bahhh...Bahhh...Bahhh

I have just been out & only by sheer luck, managed to capture a global population portraiture. Of course this represents only 99% of us & not all....bahhh....bahhh...bahhh. Alas, haven't managed to find the other 1% yet!! Yesterday I heard on the news (very briefly off course as it didn't seem all that important) that some of the other 1% were busy playing a game, turning gas & fuel pipelines & supply on & off on & off on & off!!! Rumor has it that they didn't tell any one about this game, NO ONE!!! Can u believe that NO ONE knew!!! I believe it.....Bahh...Bahh...Bahh....I did try to find out what the name of the game was but couldn't find out, I think it was something like Monopoly but a little different as in this game the 1% play with the 99%, & the 1% always win. The prize you wonder? is about a £1 Billion pound more over the usual fees for participating. Only the 99% pay a fee. Its an annual festival. Someone was really really really uspet about it & promised an investigation, I'm not sure what for to be honest...Bahh...Bahh...Bahh.....No one knows who or where they are!!! so it is difficult to get a portrait. I heard that they are a BIG family, they even have seven sisters!!! I think a few more brothers & uncles spread over the middle east, Europe & the other side of the Ocean. Someone on the news said that they were looking for them just to ask them "How come no one knew about this game"but...Bahh....Bahh...Bahh..not sure which direction they should look!!! I say, just a £1 Billion more that the odds!!! Gee not worth all that hassle & Fuss. As long as....Bahh....Bahh...Bahh..Then there is nothing to worry about...At least I have a picture of the majority...Bahh...Bahh...Bahh..Anyny how.....I'm too busy to worry about such things...Oh I think I now remember the name of the game, its MONO-PLAY!!! My my my...What a lovely green grass over there..Excusese me for a moment...Bahh...Bah....Ba......B........b..........

Road Kill Cuisine!!!

Some people & only some people might find my images of road kill distasteful,disturbing or odd!! I shant go into the "why & the How" but today I learned that long I started my Road Kill images, there "WAS" Road Kill Cuisine!!! Enter Mr Arthur Boyte, ha! you say?? check out the link below:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005590677,00.html

oh no.....we are not alone!!! beats the hell out of any supermarket, although i only photograph the poor creatures not eat them.

STREET PHOTOGRAPHY
The joys of Street Photography, take a look at Paul Indigo's Blog
http://paulindigo.blogspot.com/

Today, if the sky is blue wherever you are, then take a good look at the "blueness" of the sky & take a deep breath.
Apparently, very very soon, if you dont agree to the GAS price increases, thay now have the technology not only to turn your gas supply right OFF, but also to paint your sky BLACK!!! so, enjoy it while you can!

I was in Hamburg last November & I stayed in a city centre hotel. In the afternoon when I left the hotel & onto the main road right in the heart of the city, I immediately noticed a man sitting by the exit/entrance, begging for money. This man continually made a sort of howling sounds to attract attention to himself. The sounds he made were rather eerie & the sort that would & could create disturbing emotions, just like a bad nightmare & as if he didn’t have a tongue & couldn’t speak. One or two people dropped some change into his cup.

A non German family with a little boy were passing by. The beggar had obviously caught the attention of the little boy who was probably 5 or so years old. His father gave the boy a coin & the boy very very cautiously tiptoes towards the beggar whilst maintaining his eye contact. I think the boy was both curious, frightened & at the same time listening to his father who was encouraging him to approach the beggar & put the money in the cup. & so did the boy. As I passed him by, I wondered if I should have asked him to take a picture. But I didn’t. I thought about it for sometime afterwards.

The next morning, I left the hotel by the same exit & there he was again. So this time I approached him with my camera & a look & gesture that without saying a word transmitted the message that I wanted to take his picture as I held 2 Euros as an offering.

He smiled & agreed & I took two pictures. He could actually SPEAK!! When I talked to him, He said a work or two in English, a word or two in German. But I gathered that he was NOT German but from East Europe.

When I put my camera to my eye, without any form of encouragement from me, he lifted both his arms as if he knew what sort of picture I wanted! He “Posed”. I took the pictures & thanked him & he nodded in response. Once I was done, I noticed that a few girls had been standing behind me & watching the whole thing. I also noticed a few people who were passing by looking at me & looking at him. I couldn’t help but feel that some of the impressions were of disapproval & ghastly disgust. How can he take this poor man’s picture!!

I walked away.

But it all me think.

Who was taking advantage of who here!!

Who exploits who! If indeed that happens!!

Was I guilty of taking advantage of him by offering him money to take his picture? But then again, he was happy to take the money & he even posed for it!!!

Is he “not” taking advantage of the passers by appealing to their emotions in this specific way of communicating, using his disability as an aid for the cause!! Were the passers by being taken the advantage of???

May be it was a bit of both!! May be it didn’t warrant so much thinking. May be I do what I do & he does what he does. & may be that’s the way it works.

Its it & that’s that!

I wish him luck.

What I read in reverse order!

Last weekend, i read an article written by Germaine Greer about her experience with Diane Arbus. first of all & for obvious reasons,i was delighted to read that she refered to Arbus as a street Photographer.I think the article was either in the weekend Guardian magazine or the Observer.I was very tired when i read it but i think the article was less compimentary to Arbus than any other article i have ever read ( unless i misunderstood it due to fatigue!! ) but it seemed to me the what really upset Germaine Greer was lack of "control" which i thought was self inflicted, & the visibility of all her porse, no make up & a bad hair do!!! Femenist!! now at that time i had not even seen this picture & off course i didnt know Diane Arbus. But I thought, well, who forced you to lay on the bed on your back?? why not say, get off my chest when Arbus climed up?? & what was wrong with that anyhow??? PORSE? hairdo?? Make up?? Vanity!!?? any how, there was certainly a big POP at Arbus in the article even though it ends a bit smoother, I thought. So a few days later, I get a copy of the PREVIOUS weeks weehend Guardian magazine & Shazem! there is another article about Diane Arbus's V & A exhibition in London & in it, there is the picture of Germain Greer with no make up, all porse showing. u cant really see the hairdo but i thought it was irrelevant anyhow. this editorial was written by non other than Peter Crookston & was a delight to read. & as for the picture miss Greer, u worried about it too much. its a portrait, thats all. I thought for a few moments "what" words would describe the look in her eye & I had to imagine that i didnt know about Arbus was sitting on her chest!! I had to imagine that Miss Greer was not worried about her Porse or make up & hairdo, I had to imagine that I had not read the article about it. & then I thought, u know, If Miss Greer had not made it public knowledge hersef, would anyone know or how could u tell from the picture that someone was on her chest or any other details!!?? does she look worried?? Frightened?? upset?? annoyed?? tired?? depressed?? may be the picture was taken standing up?? I gave up thinking about it. I think its just an "honest" picture with great detail.

So....Miss Germain Greer, may I extend an invitation to u of a portrait sitting for me please?? I'll be great. & I promise, I wont sit on your chest, honest. So, how about it???
need to rush now..........

Last weekend was the second time that I read about Diane Arbus. This was an article published in the Saturday Telegraph magazine to promote the forthcoming Diane Arbus Photography exhibition, "Revelations" at the Victoria And Albert Museum. Several pages & very well written I thought. The term Street Photography was never mentioned in this article but...... She was a Street Photographer & I that with the greatest respect. I have long said that street Photography is a conceptual continuity, & what she did, was a quest with a continuity for more of the same.

When I got my first camera, early teens, I never knew that the term Street Photography existed! All I was interested in was to go into the streets & take pictures, this was way back in the early seventies when big names of the photography world like Lee Frieldlander, Garry Winogrand, Cartier-Bresson & many others including Diane Arbus were making a big name for themselves or had already done. & so what I guess I'm saying is that non of them were really an influence on me but later in life when I became familiar with what they did, I LIKED WHAT THEY DID!!!.......& I guess, if I had been influenced by anyone, may be I would have chosen Arbus to be influenced by!! I think she had "balls"!! If u acquire my drift & who know if that was good or actually bad for her health!! Many people are now influenced by what she did & if she wasn't the way she was, may be she wouldn't have been the same influence. I don't know why she went, but I do know that 99% of the time its probably Desperation combined with Depression. God Bless!
Back to the article in the Telegraph, I loved the picture "A blind couple in their bedroom,Queens,NY 1971"

What is Street Photography!? well, I cant explain it any better than this at:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_photography which is a link I recently came across from one of my links with Alan Wilson ( see links at http://www.streetphotography.co.uk )

But what I have come to realize is that Street Photography is not just about pictures, To coin a phrase by the Late Frank Zappa, its a "Conceptual Continuity", but of the Vision!

Street Photoraphy, Not just about Photography!
http://www.streetphotography.co.uk