Soulmates, Lonely Hearts

Intelligent Army Officer,likes risks, WLTM Middle-Eastern Kidnapper/s for hide & seek,Poetry evenings & a 50% share of any eventual publishing rights, who knows even a movie right & interviews, Must be photogenic & preferably with a full beard, for fun & frolics. reply in confidence to 0999 999 999

2.8 million or so children, into living below the poverty line & other stories WLTM senior officials & industrialists into super casino building for just Hugs & kisses, a decent meal & a roof & who knows may be more, male or female considered
Call 0999 999 999

Desperate & Aching in the mouth female WLTM a dentist for repairs & drills, No perverts please! call 0999 999 999


Non-Judgmental Art Buyer, 50's,into arts of any sort,preferably conceptual,seeks gullible female art investor/s to part with large sums of cash, & walks in obscure galleries,waffle talk,wine,dine,schmooze and may be more,Ldn, call 0999 999 999

Unshaven but inaccurate Mathematician, 60's,into Olympic Games budgeting,Lively but unattractive, love photoshop,seeks ANYONE male or female or both with at least £9 Billion spare cash, walks in the park,F/ship & who know may be more! call 0999 999 999

Bald Headed Cigar Smoking Fat Oil company tycoon, 86, into exploration,exploitation & politics,love hollow promises, water pipes & stockings, looking for a funky slim middle eastern,African or anywhere else,government official to sign the exploration rights away for peanuts, fun & frolics,bribery & poss more. Call 0999 999 999

Supermarket Mogul Mongrel, 46,ostensibly honest & consumer caring,Loves Milk & dairy farmers,grass,travel & Cider,seeks all types of gorgeous family farmers for honest dealings,screwing,sharing love but not profit & Blackpool outings,may be pushing off the cliff,cinema,and intelligent epitaphs. Call 0999 999 999

Blank Is The New Banal, Said: David Toyne!

How right David was in my previous Blog when he said that "Banal is the new Blank" well said. I was in Amsterdam week before last & had to laugh to myself remembering what David said when I visited a Gallery enjoying some great work, but amongst which were 3 WHITE canvas's on the wall. I think they might have had something very faint on them, or may be they were finger marks of disbelievers, so random artists wanting to add something to the canvas or indeed the "ARTIST" itself. To be honest, I didn't even read the notes on the wall, but it was memorable that I had to take this picture at the risk of getting arrested in the Gallery & here is the picture below!!

So, looks like Banal "Is" the new Blank!!! I was so very lucky because just as I took this picture, I heard the voice of Sir Philleep Pumpa-Tube behind me!!! Hello Sir Philleep what you doing here I said?? buying some art son, he replied. Sir Philleep also being one of the highest universal Art authorities & a huge art Collector had just flown in from London. He just paid $22 Million for a "Soiled" Pair of cotton under garment clothing by the famous artist Nancy pussylips! the next big thing. I asked Sir Philleeps opinion about the Blank Canvas whilst I had him there. he gave me a "Don't you know your art you idiot" look and the he explained: The whiteness of the dillematic domains of the dimensional perspective in the notional integrity of the artists mind is obviously resonating in the emotional ambient of the neo draft post dada modernism in which the abstract & the moderate template of the past apocalyptic emotions are clearly illustrated! Do you now get it he asked me!??? Arf Arf Arf I said.

PS. I did try to link the word "David" by some HTML instructions, but I failed miserably. (at first!)

Why Banal is Cool!!!

Am I dreaming or is Banal cool!!! when did this happen?? has Banal Always been cool??? is Banal a concept??? If you don't "get" Banal, then you're definitely not cool!!! Do you want to be cool??? Do you want to be Banal??? I love Banal!!! I like it on toast in the morning!!! & I like to study Banal!!! Its cool to study Banal!!! I like elongated discussions about Banal!!! food for the soul!!! I went out with "Banal" in mind & this is the best I could do!!! I hope its cool. Banal is cool, cool is anti, anti is saleable,salable is money,money is bankable,bankable is spendable,spendable is cool,cool is Banal!!! Oh dear. anyhow, I hope to win a prize with this picture, then I get some money, money is bankable...............