Soulmates, Lonely Hearts

Intelligent Army Officer,likes risks, WLTM Middle-Eastern Kidnapper/s for hide & seek,Poetry evenings & a 50% share of any eventual publishing rights, who knows even a movie right & interviews, Must be photogenic & preferably with a full beard, for fun & frolics. reply in confidence to 0999 999 999

2.8 million or so children, into living below the poverty line & other stories WLTM senior officials & industrialists into super casino building for just Hugs & kisses, a decent meal & a roof & who knows may be more, male or female considered
Call 0999 999 999

Desperate & Aching in the mouth female WLTM a dentist for repairs & drills, No perverts please! call 0999 999 999

Non-Judgmental Art Buyer, 50's,into arts of any sort,preferably conceptual,seeks gullible female art investor/s to part with large sums of cash, & walks in obscure galleries,waffle talk,wine,dine,schmooze and may be more,Ldn, call 0999 999 999

Unshaven but inaccurate Mathematician, 60's,into Olympic Games budgeting,Lively but unattractive, love photoshop,seeks ANYONE male or female or both with at least £9 Billion spare cash, walks in the park,F/ship & who know may be more! call 0999 999 999

Bald Headed Cigar Smoking Fat Oil company tycoon, 86, into exploration,exploitation & politics,love hollow promises, water pipes & stockings, looking for a funky slim middle eastern,African or anywhere else,government official to sign the exploration rights away for peanuts, fun & frolics,bribery & poss more. Call 0999 999 999

Supermarket Mogul Mongrel, 46,ostensibly honest & consumer caring,Loves Milk & dairy farmers,grass,travel & Cider,seeks all types of gorgeous family farmers for honest dealings,screwing,sharing love but not profit & Blackpool outings,may be pushing off the cliff,cinema,and intelligent epitaphs. Call 0999 999 999


David Toyne said...

Have you been reading metro classified adds again? ;o)

Johnny said...

Well Spotted!! where else can I get such huge sources of inspiration!! I nearlt responded to one!! ;-)